As I sit here tonight I must admit that I have been thinking alot lately. About things divine and about my purpose in life. I don't want to simply etch out an existance in life I want to truly live and to live well, to realize my dreams. Things seem to have been crashing in around me here lately and the whole deal with Sara just set me into a depression, it just seemed to set off the powder keg as the old saying goes. But after setting around moping around in self pitty I have came to a decision, The Ramblin Hillbilly of ole is back. No more self pitty or depression just my carefree self. I am about to throw myself headlong into bettering myself. I am seriously contemplating returning to college to finish out my degree and Monday I am outting in my application to the Princeton Fire Department. I am saving up to upgrade several things in my life. I am about to get all of my financial problems straightened out I hope so that will leave room to upgrade my living arrangments, new and bigger tv cause the one I have is nearly as old as I am and I'm tired of having to get up to turn the tv on and off. I know this may seem like like alot of mindless babble to my 2 readers, thanks Red and RT but i just had to type something and as I sat down at the computer things just started appearing. I wasn't really thinking about what I was typing it just sort of happened. So please don't think I have totally flipped out of my mind.

As Always

Love me or hate me, You will remember me

The Ramblin Hillbilly

I swear having a heart sucks, especially my heart. I get attached way too easily. The last three times I have had someone in my life I had gotten attached to things just ended abruptly. I am beginning to think that it is my lot in life to suffer with a broken heart. As you may have guessed by now I'm 99% sure the whole Sara thing is over and what's worse is I dont have a clue as to why it's over. I have done nothing to upset her in any way, both her kids love me and I have treated her like a queen. Flowers almost everytime we went out the whle 9 yards, I was nothing but the perfect gentelman which is why I am so confused. All contact with her was just abruptly halted, she wont return my phone calls or e mails or anything. If she would just say "hey I dont want to see you anymore" then ok atlease I wouldn't be left hanging. That is the part I hate the most, never knowing what went wrong. Being left in the dark and replaying every conversation and date in my mind searching for that one error, that one comment or action that I may have said or done that upset her.

Oh well I guess I will just go on living my broken hearted life so that hopefully some other soul out there in this world that is not as strong in mind and heart as I am won't have to suffer. Like I said I'm beginning to think it is my lot in life.


As Always

Love me or hate me, You will remember me

The Ramblin Hillbilly

It's coming, all I'm saying is that it's coming!!!!!!